Today He has initiated me as His disciple.

It is 8:55 pm. As I am passing through the entrance gate of the building a car coming out of the gate stops near me. I am so engrossed in my thinking I don’t pay any attention to it. Suddenly I hear Osho’s voice calling me from the car. He is sitting in the back seat near the window. I rush towards Him.

He says, "I am going out for about half an hour--wait," and asks me if I know the apartment where He will be. I answer, "Yes, I know it." The car passes by and I stand there a couple of minutes looking at it as it vanishes from my sight. I take a deep breath and enter the building--it has many wings and I don’t know which way to go. Now I realize why He was asking me if I know the apartment. After wandering stupidly in all the wings, I feel angry with myself for not being true to my master in my unawareness. It takes me twenty minutes to find the right wing.

I press the call button and this same woman, whom I spoke to on the phone, opens the door and recognizing me feels very sorry for me, for not telling me the complete address. She hugs me and takes me by the hand into quite a big living room, where eight to ten people are already sitting on sofas, gossiping about different things. The atmosphere is very light; no one looks serious except me I feel myself alien in that group, sitting quietly in a corner waiting for my master.

Exactly after ten minutes Osho arrives and we all stand up. He smiles and greets everyone with folded hands in namaste as He passes into another room. Immediately I am called into the room. Again this unknown fear grabs me as I enter; I feel scared, like a little insect going near a fire which will burn him. But this magnetic pull of fire is much greater than the fear.

I see Him sitting on the bed in the lotus posture drinking some juice, and I sit opposite Him at a little distance, my legs hanging down from the bed. He finishes His drink, puts the glass aside on the little table near the bed and wipes His mouth with a little white napkin, gives me a smile and asks me to come closer.

He places His right hand on my chest and His left hand on my head. My chattering mind stops, I am transported into a space unknown to me. Tears roll down from my eyes and my body starts bending towards Him. I start sobbing like a little kid with my head in His lap.

In a couple of minutes he takes away His hands and asks me," Come back slowly." I calm down, raise my head and look into His eyes. They are shimmering like little stars in the vast blue sky. I feel relieved of this unknown fear and pain of separation.

He chuckles and tells me to do vipassana meditation every morning for an hour, and I can meet Him whenever He is in Bombay. I touch His feet and walk out of the room feeling that today He has initiated me as His disciple.

Chapter 6

One Hundred Tales for Ten Thousand Buddhas, Ma Dharm Jyoti